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Another Girl Taken

As Reachville’s CSI unit continues it search for Tiffany Creswell another girl has been taken and the Reachville councillors have once again sent their daughters out of the country.

Mazzei Rodgers, 19, was last seen crossing the high street into Central park. Mazzei was wearing blue jeans, a white blouse and of course she is sporting a lovely blonde head of hair. A common feature I would say, because no-one else is saying it.

Several witnesses say they saw the girl leave the park on the other side, but like Tiffany Creswell, lost sight of her as a bus came to a stop. Traffic backed up and when the bus finally moved, and eerily, just as Mrs East said in her statement, this happened again;

‘A big green Bus pulled up and then there was this blue car stopped behind it beeping its horn, pigeons were flyin’ everywhere, it was a nightmare really’ East (2019).

A town wide search is underway with many locals sending their daughters to families in outlying towns, I say, just as I said when Little Finger first began his reign of terror, it won’t be lone before those towns feel his evil too.

Constipated? Stop by Mr Durango’s Delicatessen on Leaf Street and get a 10% off Evil No2 Laxatives and get a spring back in your step. Good for all your Evil No2’s

You’ll need it to outrun –Never mind. This is Craven Looney enduring another disturbing day in Reachville with my aphrodisiac to get me through my days, Seamus Macbeth.

We are still fighting the urge to say, ‘We told you so.’

This is Craven Looney bringing you the news as it happens, almost on time, every time.