Reachville is a Town in Mourning
Reachville is a town mourning as preparations for four funerals begin today. Police said, in a press conference yesterday, they found ‘no evidence on the bodies of their killer’. When asked about the possibility of no DNA evidence at all, we were left with silence. A doctor Ratcliff of the Reachville School of Medicine said ‘I’ve never seen anything like it since the discovery of DNA. We are at a loss, it’s as if all four girls had been scrubbed clean, but we failed to find any sort of chemical on any girl and that is unheard of. We'd expect to find trace elements of soap at the very least’.
Authorities are baffled by the entire sequence of events and have been left scratching their heads looking for an answer. Nothing was taken from any of the girls, no hair, jewellery or clothing, ‘it’s as if they had the life sucked out of them where they stood’, police sergeant Oddfellow said. ‘We’ve never seen anything like it. If not for the removal of their pinkie finger’s, I’d say we were searching for a different serial killer’.
When asked if it could be a copycat sergeant Oddfellow went on to say, ‘if I had to take a guess, I have to honestly tell you we are stumped. It’s as if something supernatural has picked up where Little Finger left off’.
When asked if it was possible Little Finger was something supernatural? Sergeant Oddfellow said, ‘what happened to them lovely ladies is a tragedy, a damned tragedy’. Police Chief Groves has spoken volumes through the silence from his office. Regnif Tip, Reachville’s new Mayor, has also been suspiciously silent since the girls were found.
With one last comment for the day sergeant Oddfellow asked all Reachvillian’s be vigilant, and not to let their children out of their sight. He spoke directly into the camera and told all young adults to stay in large groups. There’re three commonalities that preceded each abduction, a bus, a blue car and a wall of pigeons scattering into the air.
The only thing linking these to the Little Finger murders has been the removal of the pinkie finger from each victim. There are two schools of thought surrounding this, Reachville has a copycat, or Little Finger has upped his game, and no-one is safe.
Need something for that costly cat? Go to Mr Durango’s store down on leaf street and get some cheap, and neat, wallaby meat for half price today only if you say my name, Craven Looney.
This is Craven Looney and Seamus MacBeth, thinking about moving on, bringing you the news as it happens almost on time, every time.